Hi, I'm Simmons Holborn. Not to brag, but I'm kind of a big deal. I have two floors, which, if you haven't worked out, means I'm pretty damn big. People say I've got massive balls (the disco kind) ,and my DJ even plays from inside one. I'm located next to some pretty snazzy neighbours, including Tottenham Court Road and Covent Garden, and my fairground theme makes me the perfect place to clown around. I'm genre-fluid, playing everything from disco to R&B to '00s cheese. People say my happy hour is the best in the biz, and let's be honest – at just £2.50 for a bottle of beer – they're not wrong.